Over 1.6 million people moved to rural communities during the first five years of this decade. Several stayed. This migration continues ?reinforced by dozens of national and regional periodicals presenting sanitized 聭country chic?to millions of armchair rednecks. Having read a myriad of books and magazines about goin?county, you are convinced it is for you. Why not?
Editorials immerse you with prose of serenity found. You are infatuated by the ideal of carvin?your own nitch in the wilderness Delino DeShields Womens Jersey , collectin?the morning eggs and whittlin?on the porch swing each evening. Throughout the country, gentlemen greet women with the tip of a hat and a polite, 聯Howdy Mam.?You long to raise your children in a community where graciousness abounds while folks commune with nature in perfect harmony. With each flip of the page of County Cool Magazine you feel your stress level dip.
Before you lapse completely into a coma Russell Wilson Womens Jersey , bear a few things in mind. Full-page glossies of family reunions held beneath towering, shabby-chic barns make for better magazine copy than centerfolds of locals trying to avoid making eye contact with your U-Haul. Stylized black and whites of cowboys branding in the parched mid-day sun sell better than snapshots of the Mayor聮s dead horses being left to rot all summer long, directly in the center of town. Fickle indeed. I for one moved my son from our life long home in San Diego to my birth state of South Dakota three times before it stuck. Each time I recoiled in under a year. Best friends, scores of humanities, the Pacific surf and Thai food are a lot to give up at one time. Harder still was the shattering of my rose colored glasses.
The secret to a successful relocation is knowing what to honestly expect so you can laugh cathartically when the inevitable bizarre scenarios emerge. Sudden disillusionment is rarely a knee-slapper. Nonetheless Ferguson Jenkins Womens Jersey , once adjusted, country life is closer to Nirvana than most get here on Earth. Thus, while everyone else pumps pure country sunshine straight up your knickers Hunter Pence Womens Jersey , I consider it my obligation to provide balance to the Universe.
Almost daily I question my reasons for living in the hinterland. For these moments of apprehension, I maintain lists in my mind. My lists remind me both what drove me out of California and why I cannot abandon country life. A hardy dose of big city burn out definitely came into play. For starters, I realized I was so sick of commuting I聭d rather endure seven months per year in an icebox with no sunlight than sit in another traffic jam. With that thought alone I was ready to pull up my roots. I also decided to move.
In fact Asdrubal Cabrera Womens Jersey , developing a loathing of the Urban Jungle was vital to my eventual 聭success?in relocating. In retrospect, my twig was definitely about to snap. Of course, so many city folk run around with fully bent twigs Joey Gallo Womens Jersey , we never realize the contorted conditions of our existence. That many people living in close proximity, under the confines of excessive regulations, is the proverbial pressure cooker.
Urbanites and recent country converts wondering if your view on life may be intensely contorted are welcome refer to my lists. They provide perspective. For example: Signs of how 聭screwed-up?you may be would include the following.
You believe shoes matching your nail polish is in any way a daily priority.
You don聮t recognize that it is morally bankrupt to apply for a permit from a homeowners association to put out a lawn ornament.
You carry more electronic gadgets on your person than Radio Shack inventories.
You drive to work past 聭that same old group of homeless people.?br > You smile and say, 聯Hi Nolan Ryan Womens Jersey ,?to strangers only because you know it screws with their minds.
Your horse board expenses equal the Gross National Product of Guatemala
You聮re convinced you are invisible and need two years of plastic surgery just so city gentlemen won聮t let the C-Store door spring back in your face.
You pitch a fit when your favorite salad bar serves cheese made with non-vegetarian rennet, then drive the kids to Burgers Burgers Burgers.
Your children spend more time in the TV den than in treetops and you think that聮s acceptable.
You get a building permit and three estimates to hang a painting.